On Thursday night, I was making my way back from the gym after a longer than planned for work out. My hair was damp with sweat, my face was red from exhaustion and all my makeup had long since gone. However, to my astonishment, as I walked I still managed to somehow secure a wolf whistle from an aloof stranger passing by. At first the usual thoughts ran through my mind ‘Has that ever actually worked for a man? Does he genuinely think I’m going to turn around and say “marry me now”?’. Then I caught sight of my reflection in a window as I passed by and my thoughts instead changed to ‘what was he even thinking?’. There seems to be an ongoing debate in the online community (most of which I witness though Facebook memes and sultry tweets) about whether or not women who go out sparsely dressed are ‘asking for it’. I think just this one example proves how moot that point is.
I began thinking about the various times I have been cat called in the street and, more often than not, I was certainly not dressed to impress. Aside from the afore mentioned event, I have been asked “why is it always fit women you find at the bus stop” on an occasion when I had not showered in several days and was wearing my brother’s coat and had someone whistle and mutter “oh my god” as I passed wearing so many loose fitting layers that it was difficult to even tell if I was a woman.
The predominant argument for women dressing how they like seems to be that our bodies are our own and we should be able to do what we want with them. However, it seems that just as logical an argument would be that if this is going to happen anyway, why should we have to dress down to try to avoid these comments. In Laura Bates’ ‘Everyday Sexism’, she discusses the issues with censorship of girls school uniforms, saying “Often schools go all out and explain that girls wearing certain clothing might ‘distract’ their male peers, or even their male teachers….in reality these messages privilege boys’ apparent ‘needs’ over those of the girls, sending the insidious message that girls’ bodies are dangerous and provoke harassment, and boys can’t be expected to control their behavior, so girls are responsible for covering up.” This shows how, from a very early age, instead of men being taught not to act on whatever urges they are having towards women, women are being told that men can’t control this and so they should be doing what they can to defuse the ‘allure’.
If nothing else, this opinion is an embarrassing generalisation of men, suggesting they are all but incapable of keeping it in their pants. In reality, it is only a very small portion of the male population that seems to think the culture of cat calling and wolf whistling is acceptable and in honesty, it seems highly unlikely that a jacket or a pair of tights will change their mind on that point.
Whilst it probably is true that the more attractive you make yourself look, the more male attention you will receive, it is honestly a waste of time designing your wardrobe to avoid this patriarchal male behaviour. It seems that if these men want to shout some demeaning comment after you, that is exactly what they will do, push up bra or no. So next time you’re choosing between the slightly cheeky dress you bought last Saturday and the same pair of jeans you wear every night out, don’t let other people’s attitudes weigh into your decision. The chances are the lads that are going to make a derogatory comment will be just as likely to do it if you’re wearing your grandfather’s braces and flat cap as if you’re wearing nothing at all.
If you are looking for some amusing ways to combat unwanted male attention, have a look at some of the best responses shared by the Everyday Sexism Project.
Views From A Bridge 